LET’S BE VULNERABLE…
FROM MY HEART TO YOURS…
I was asked, “What is the ONE thing you always wanted to do in your life?”
STOP PEOPLE FROM HURTING.
But then I was told, “That’s impossible… think again… what do you want to do?”
TO HELP PEOPLE HURT LESS.
“Okay, fine, but how are you going to do this? You can’t save the world…”
I was stuck. I was lost. I couldn’t answer the question. That’s all I’ve been trying to do all my life… out to save everyone I met… out to save the world… even if it meant I ended up hurt or if it meant it cost me something… everything… and even when it almost cost me my own life too. I know I can’t save the world… because I’ve tried so many times. I am just one person…
SO HOW DO “I” HELP PEOPLE HURT LESS?
I can’t wave a wand and take the pain away. I can’t remove the memories and change the situations that people feel stuck in.
HOW DO “I” HELP PEOPLE HURT LESS?
Then I was told, “Everything you’ve ever been through in your life is because you are meant to help people that go through those same things… to give them hope… to show them that it is possible.”
WHAT HAVEN’T I BEEN THROUGH?
I feel like life has literally thrown me into everything since I was born. Name a scenario or situation and my answer is more than likely, “Yes” … or at the very least, “I’ve come awfully close to it.”
So, this thought has been constantly running through my mind… “HOW?”
Then I watch person after person… silently, hurting so badly and hiding in their pain… feeling so alone… going through seemingly impossible scenarios they feel trapped in… being used and abused… going through terrible heart breaks… going through life threatening scenarios… wanting to end their lives… and sadly, some did.
HOW DO “I” HELP PEOPLE HURT LESS?
People often hide their pain from everyone because all they’ve ever received was rejection or being abandoned for it. Opening up about their pain… only to receive more pain in return. So, people hide… and even when you ask, they avoid the question… ashamed of the pain they feel and terrified of being hurt even more.
SO HOW DO “I” HELP PEOPLE HURT LESS… WHEN THEY WON’T OPEN UP AT ALL?
I’ve been stuck with that question constantly running through my mind. Finally, I found the answer.
People are terrified to open up and become vulnerable in their pain. So instead, I chose to open up and become vulnerable about the pain I’ve been through. Even if none of these people say a word in response, at the very LEAST… they will know they are NOT ALONE.
Feeling alone in your pain is possibly the worst pain anyone could ever go through, never mind the actual scenario or action that caused it.
Life has put me through virtually almost every scenario possible… I’ve hurt more than I could bare to carry on breathing. I was alone when I was battling for my life. I was alone through every scenario… and yes, I also tried ending my own life too. I know pain VERY well. Pain WAS my best friend. Even when I also tried to open up… each time I got hurt even more in return. So, I also closed myself up and walled myself off from the world.
“Pain? What pain? I’m fine!” …and I just laughed it off with the convincing mask I learnt to wear… a mask so brilliant that it even covered the pain in my eyes. No one knew what I was going through… because I had learnt that no one cared, even if they did know.
But as the months and years passed by, I eventually found my feet and managed to stand again. I am no longer the person I was in any previous scenario in my life… I am STRONGER… I am WISER… yet, I am also STILL LEARNING too. Every time I get knocked down again, I remember my past and I remind myself that I can get up again. I’ll just become even stronger this time… and every time.
So even if no one will open up and talk because they are scared… I will open up and show what I’ve been through. In doing so, it does make me feel incredibly vulnerable BUT if it can help AT LEAST ONE PERSON to not feel alone, then IT’S WORTH IT.
This is why I have chosen to release FRAGMENTED SHADOWS OF THE MIND… to show you what I have been through… the indescribable pain and heartache… the confusion… the mess… the chaos… and more than anyone can imagine. BUT at the end of it all… I am NO LONGER that person… I am STRONGER… and I am REAL… I WILL NOT WEAR A MASK.
THERE IS HOPE IN EVERY SITUATION!
You might feel like what you’re going through is impossible to get through… but PLEASE believe me when I say that THINGS DO GET BETTER… you do get STRONGER… and most of all, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
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